Have you ever found yourself stressing out or worrying about what others might think of you? It’s a common concern, but it can also be a major distraction and hinder our ability to achieve our goals and live fulfilling lives.
The Idea of Selectively Choosing What We Give a F*ck About
Recently, I read the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck” by Mark Manson, which explores the idea of selectively choosing what we give a fck about. The idea is not to care about nothing, but rather to realize that life is short and there are too many things to care about. It’s important to choose what is true, immediate, and essential to us.
Establishing Your Priorities and Goals
For example, if your current goals are to get good grades, maintain relationships, and exercise daily, then those should be your priorities. Caring about what others think is not going to help you reach those goals. In fact, focusing on what others may be thinking of you only distracts you and takes you away from your goals and priorities. One way to care less about what others think is to establish your priorities and goals. Once you have a clear understanding of what matters most to you, it becomes easier to see that the opinions and thoughts of others are not going to help you achieve your goals or maintain focus on your priorities.
The Backward Law
Another helpful perspective is the “backward law,” a philosophical concept described by philosopher Alan Watts. The backward law states that wanting a positive experience is a negative experience, and accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. This concept works because there are things in our control and things not in our control. For example, we can’t control the thoughts and opinions.
Adopting a More Valuable Perspective
In conclusion, it’s important to remember that the opinions of others are their business, not yours. And keep in mind that others are probably thinking about what you think about them, or they are so immersed in their own problems that they have little time to care about what you are up to. If you find yourself caring a lot about what others think, try to be honest with yourself and identify what is causing you to feel that way. Are you seeking approval? Do you have insecurities that you need to confront? Once you understand the root cause of your concern, it becomes easier to work on it and move past it.